�Dear Mom,
I decided to write you a letter, seeing as our discussions over my education lead to nothing but argument and hard feelings. You are a good mother, but there are some things as a parent you should understand yet you donapos;t. One of them is that my path to success, may be different then the one you have set out for me. You donapos;t always know what is best for me, you think you do and nothing-not even myself can tell you that you are wrong. Why canapos;t you be more understanding?�
When I graduated High School I was beyond relieved. I�hated school.�It was so incredibly hard for me to be motivated, to do the work, to pay attention in class.�Some people arenapos;t "school people", and like it or not-thatapos;s me. It had nothing to do with my friend/guy choices or my lack of involvement. The whole time I�was in school all I could think about was how I really didnapos;t want to be there and that constant thought made learning almost impossible. I�knew I�needed to change, just like youapos;d nag me to do. Part of me wanted to and the other part didnapos;t since I�knew the end result would be the same-Junior college.�I ended decent grades but then again I was in High school-an environment where teachers cared and pushed there students. Where I could check edline, and be constantly reminded of my assignments along with their due date. I knew that college would be a lot different, and that the only way to do well would be to completely change my attitude-something that I struggled with the whole time in high school. You think changing oneapos;s attitude it just so easy, that you "just do it" and "try to focus". Maybe itapos;s like that for you, but not for me.
When the start of college was just around the corner, I told both you and dad I was not ready. He was more understanding, you were quite the opposite. Not starting college meant me being forced to live on my own, having to support myself...and we all know that this would be the start of a very hard life for me. Even though I was not ready for school, I was even more unprepared to live like that. Therefor, you made forcing myself into college my only option. Why could you not support me for a semester, until I�was ready for school? I could have gotten a part time job, volunteered, or found things that interested me (i.e. Taking just a class in psychology). I�knew that if I took a semester off, Iapos;d benefit by having more time to focus on preparing myself and changing my attitude so that I could put fourth my best effort. Iapos;d see other kids bettering their education, going to school, and Iapos;d eventually want to be a part of that. I wanted a semester to get my head on straight, be a little more mature, have more time to think about where I�really wanted to go in life and develop goals. You just didnapos;t understand. You thought I�just wanted to be lazy�so you closed your mind off to anything I�said-this both hurt and frustrated me.�
Iapos;m sure you may be scoffing when I mention part time job and volunteer work. However, if you provided that as an alternative to being forced into a full time job and being independent or going to school full time when I was not ready...you would see so much more effort and preserverence on my part than you do now or that you have in the past. Remember, I�was only talking a semester, not even a full school year. This way I could have a job, earn extra spending money, gain maturity, and then next semester �have the same job and be more equipped to take on 12 units. You always said "if you donapos;t start school in August, then move out, get a full time job and support yourself." This pissed me off more than anything because donapos;t you see...if I chose that route, I�would never be able to go back to school full time, no matter how much I�wanted to. I would be doing a low income job for a very long time, struggling. You donapos;t get that I want to go to school, I�want to transfer to a good 4 year college, then work on getting a high degree so that I�can have a successful job.
I�knew I wasnapos;t ready for school because my mind set was still "I hate school, I�hate it, hate it, hate it and donapos;t want to be here." I wasnapos;t ready to try my best. I lacked the motivation, I didnapos;t have my head on straight.�Your words, your threats-nothing would give me the effort and motivation I�needed to do well in school. I wish it worked that way, it would be easier on my part-but unfortunately, it doesnapos;t.
However, I�want a good career. I�want a happy, successful life and I fully understand that those are achieved by a high education.�
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